BLACK MILK GLOSSARY
Sharks (sharkies, skarklets, sharkettes) - a predatory creature that feeds upon nylon and lycra. Usually female, they tend to feed in packs and attack with very little provocation. The name 'sharks' originates from the first story that was put on the website when I decided to take it offline because we were so overloaded with orders. The story was about me feeling like I have been repeatedly savaged by a pack of sharks (while wearing a Lady Gaga style meat dress. It was a little weird).
Penalty pic - a punishment for any minor violation of the BM Facebook code of conduct - usually posting non BM links or pictures. Although usually for individual perps, sometimes penalty pics can be incurred by all participants in a discussion on the fan page. A penalty pic shall be posted at the BM fan page and shall include a picture of the perp wearing a Black Milk piece - at which point the perp will be forgiven. Failure to comply with penalty pic obligations can result in various other bad things happening to you.
Nom - the deep, gravelly, self satisfied sound that little Sharks make as they consume their prey (also "Nom, nom" or "Nomnomnomnom"). Can also be used as an active verb ("I nommed", "She shall nom", "They are nomming"), or a passive verb - to be used exclusively by myself ("Help - I wuz nommed!")
Hawt - Adjective referring to one who is aesthetically pleasing
Babe - One who is hawt
The Beast - the huge list of orders that need to be filled after a collection release. Posting all the orders out is known as 'Conquering the Beast'.
The Emperor - me. Other companies have Managing Directors, I wanted something a little more... exalted.
Commandments - a set of rules designed to ensure that the BM community is a cool place to hang out. Commandment breaking will often result in banning.
BMHQ - The place where all the magic happens, 38 Arthur St, Fortitude Valley in Brisbane. Cooler than Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory, and with less carbs.
Meet Ups - Fun events where BM sharks (see above) spend time together, (and take pictures).
Troll - One who leaves nasty comments on the BM Facebook fan page in order to provoke a response. Trolls are banned on sight.
Pervy Man - One who goes through the Black Milk fan page in order to see sharkettes (see above) who are hawt (see above). Pervy men are banned on sight.
Pants Off Friday - a weekly event where sharklets can post pictures of themselves on the BM fan page whilst not wearing pants. Swimsuits are preferred, although dresses and other clothing styles can also qualify as 'pants off'.
Hashtagging - the activity of tagging your pictures in the comments section on Facebook so that they appear on the Black Milk website (i.e. #newslicks, #anatomistnegativelegs, #elkswim).
Like A Bawsss - to behave 'like a bawss' is to engage in an activity with an unusually high degree of confidence and skill. For example, Charlie Sheen makes money like a bawss (but doesn't make friends like a bawss). Obama borrows money like a bawss (but doesn't pay it back like a bawss). Some clothing labels sell lots of clothes, however, most people agree that Black Milk sells clothes 'like a bawss'. I personally perform most of my duties like a bawss. I get out of bed like a bawss, eat vegetables like a bawss, and post pictures on Facebook like a bawss. Even my failures are done 'like a bawss, e.g. I trip over my own shoe laces like a bawss, I say inappropriate things in social situations like a bawss etc.
Photo Bomb - to engage in aggressive military action using photos instead of actual bombs. Photo bombs - are used to overwhelm a particular target with awesomeness so that they will give in to your demands. The elements of a successful photo bomb are number of participants + awesomeness of photos. Some photo bombs will take a lot of photos to be successful, in these circumstances I will let you know the percentage of completion. If a photo bomb reaches 100% it was successful.
Crackmilk - an alternative name for Black Milk which emphasises that particularly addictive nature of the clothing.
Addiction - the activity of purchasing of way too many Black Milk pieces, characterised by initiating multiple orders before previous orders have arrived, amassing collections, and squealing at postmen.
Secret Profile - a 'page' that is set up for the purpose of interacting on Facebook without alerting others to the depths of your Black Milk addiction (see Crackmilk, and Addiction above)
2. Well, the last Black Milk collection was ridiculously massive - it was called You can't sell out if you were never cool in the first place. I guess it's a comment on the whole thing of expectations. People can expect you to be a certain way ... and sometimes, you're just not.
The last collection was called I don't think we're in Kansas any more, Toto Again, it was a somewhat autobiographical title. I do feel a little bit like Dorothy sometimes... you know, killing witches while wearing a pretty blue dress (yeah thats how I roll). But also in the sense that you get removed from your comfort zone sometimes and find yourself in new and unfamiliar territory. It's both scary and exciting, but there's also a sense of longing for the past. Sometimes I wake up a night thinking "How in the world did I get here!?"
I guess that's the question you have to ask sometimes - what exactly are you meant to do when your dreams actually come true?
It's all well and good to shoot for the stars, but ... what if you actually hit one?
3. As you may be aware, I have been writing a set of commandments at the moment that I think will make BM, and the BM community a more fun place to hang out at. It has been a little hit and miss. Some people tend to misunderstand the word commandment. Some people read:
Here are my commandments for you
And their brains tell them that it means:
So here's a suggestion I have. I personally thought it might possibly be a good idea, but hey - I'm totes open to what you think!
4. I have been thinking a bit about customs fees lately. Internet companies feel about customs fees the way.... airports feel about terrorists, or merchant ships feel about pirates, or mangos feel about bats. So it got me thinking... why do governments enforce customs? The obvious answer is.... because they can. Legalised extortion. Give me money or you don't get your stuff, pure and simple. You bought more stuff? Fine, give me more money. If you can afford a $100 swimsuit, you can afford to pay the goverment $100 as well.
Bullying at it's most basic.
However, at a deeper, ideological level, it seems to me that there is a deliberate attempt to sabotage globalisation.
Governments hate globalisation. When commerce is localised, governments can control it, when it's globalised, power gets transferred from the governments - to buyers and sellers (i.e. people like me and you).
So what can governments do? They can punish you for being a global shopper.
And that, my friends, truly sucks.
5. Black Milk's 2 year birthday on Thursday!!! It was two years ago we registered the company, and officially became a (not too) evil corporation. I was still sewing on my kitchen table at that time. And I used to make around 5-6 garments a day! So... things are a little different now. :)
But we have some awesome party plans... ;)
6. It's been really awesome seeing the positive response to the skirts. I hoped they would be well received... and they were. They are actually a swim fabric. So ... if for some bizarre reason you need to go swimming in a skirt - you can. And the prints are fantastic, really rich and vibrant. Nothing new though. Maybe I might have to look at some new ideas for January....
And they don't ride up - yay!
And the most popular of all the skirts was.... this one:
Rainbow Galaxy Skirt
6. Haters... who needs them? I find it so weird that I have a small gang of haters. I guess some people hate me in the same way peeps hate Justin Beiber - he's a talented kid with truckloads of cash and fangirls.
Anyway... the funniest ones I find are those who lurk inthe shadows on Facebook, and 'like' the comments where people say something negative about BM. I mean... who's got time to trawl through 100 posts a day to find the negative comments?
Haters needs to gets sum jobzzz...
7. In conclusion, I have to say that, although simple, this dress is SO COOL. It is the legenday Evil Cheerleader Dress... and sold out in 4 minutes.
I'm working on getting some more. :/