Commandment #5
Duh.
The fact that I have to point that out is pretty sad.
And if you're a woman and you need a guy (!) to tell you that making negative comments about women's bodies is a no-no... you really need to take a good, hard look at yourself.
Sure, I know you think you're being really progressive - staging your own little witch hunt to find protruding hip bones and ribs … but the truth is, you're just trying to work out you're own body issues by bringing other women down.
Sure, keep telling yourself that you're actually promoting 'healthy body image'. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Actually… no, let me change that. I've got an idea...
I give you permission to fully critique any woman's body on the Black Milk Facebook page … with one tiny condition. You simply need to post a photo of yourself wearing a swimsuit, and write a little note underneath with the following:
This is my body - please feel free to critique it. Be honest. Tell me what you do and don't like about it. Am I too fat? Too thin? If you have an opinion, please share it, and while you're at it, why not give me some advice about my eating habits.
Any takers? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you..."
"But" you protest "I'm protecting young girls from the big bad fashion industry. I want clothing companies to promote healthy bodies. I'm fine with girls having different body shapes, as long as she's healthy…".
Who are you exactly - her mother? No disrespect… but I can't remember anyone actually asking your opinion on the matter! Her health is none of your business.
And - it must be asked - are these self appointed critics really interested in healthy bodies? So why do they only seem to criticise the boney girls and not the curvy girls? Criticising either end of the spectrum is equally unacceptable in the BM community.
Peeps put their pics up to share their look with like minded girls. They don't do it to be criticised. And, of course, if girls do constantly get their bodies criticised when they show photos, what's going to happen? Girls will stop posting photos and the Black Milk Facebook page will become as boring as... well, every other fashion label's Facebook page.
I have a very simple policy - if you comment on a woman's body and I think that your comment would hurt her feelings if she read it... you're gone. No warnings, just kapow.
There are a couple of other commands that go along with this one:
1. If your body shape is criticised you do not need to justify yourself.
"She's so skinny, that's not healthy, she should eat..."
"Aaaaargh - I do eat, I promise! I eat more than a man. I totally eat like a hippo all day! Look, here is a photo of me stuffing my face with cream filled donuts, with chocolate on top ... and - look! - the donuts are inside a burger served on top of a deep fried dolphin. And if you don't believe me I have a doctors certificate saying that I have a high metabolism. Please believe me - I'm a total pig!!!"
No one needs to go justifying their eating habits to anyone else. It's your body.
2. You shall not criticise BM for the girls in photos we post
"So why doesn't BM shoot plus sized models? Why not promote diversity?"
First, because my job is not to promote diversity, it's to make awesome clothes. I can promise you that I will never choose a girl because she meets some modern criterion of 'diversity'.
The girls we like are girls that we feel have the look and the attitude to rock out in our clothes. Diversity never even comes into it. Bossness does. (And just because I don't post your photos on Facebook, doesn't mean I don't love you.. because I do, okay?!)
3. If you're a guy, any comments on women's bodies, positive or negative, is dangerous ground.
Sorry, dudes, that's just the way it goes. You might have the best intentions, but there is just always going to be something awkward about strange men complimenting women's bodies - especially on a women's clothing website.
If I feel like a guy is commenting more on the girl's body that the clothes... gone.
I want the BM community to be an environment where girls feel totally safe and free, without ... awkwardness.
I should also point out that this is not a criticism of guys per se. I'm sure that I have personally made more girls feel awkward than any other guy on earth! I mean, I stroll up to girls on the street and start chatting to them about their pantyhose.... ! It gets awkward pretty quick, I can tell you....
:)
